Needing Healing is a Story You CAN Change

Suzi’s Secrets #9:

Needing Healing is a Story. Change it to move FORWARD!

What would your life look like if I gave you a magic wand and you were fully healed? Like totally. The trauma from your past, gone. You could recall it, if you wanted to as an example of how far you’ve come, but it held no sway, no emotion, no beliefs to who you can’t be now. 

What would your life look like if you were fully healed and you just knew you were fully empowered and the only triggers you felt were ones you used to springboard into further greatness? What if you held no fear? No anger or resentment or guilt? What if you harbored no doubts? What would your life look like?

A coach I had posed this question in a digital course I purchased a few years ago. My answer was, “I’d be unstoppable. I’d be living my dream life unapologetically.” That was the response of most people on the live training. She responded with a “why aren’t you living that way now? Change the narrative of your life. Change your story.”

I used to ask this of clients. One client I had, had been chasing healing modality after healing modality and finding they all worked while she was using them, but then one day she'd be triggered by something she thought was “healed.” So she’d find the next modality. She’d been on this cycle for 20 years. Read that again, TWENTY YEARS! 

I asked her the above question. Her response astonished me, “Oh, I can’t answer that. The thought of being totally healed is scary.” 

I get it. Being wounded is many people’s identity. If they’re not misunderstood, not ignored, not broken, not afraid, then who are they? That wounded part of them consumes them, until it seems like there’s no more “powerful” left. And if they want to believe there’s not, that’s okay. It’s their prerogative. 

But that’s not who I’m here to serve. 

I’m here to help and give hope to those that know there’s more. This woman, my former client, knew there was more, but to embrace it was too scary for her. She will forever be chasing her healing. Because that’s comfortable. And don’t mistake me, I’m not saying HEALING is comfortable. I’m saying that feeling like you’re doing something about your brokenness is comfortable. It helps you sleep at night thinking, “if I can just heal that next piece, I’ll turn the corner and step into my dream life.” 

It’s a lie though. It’s an addiction, like gambling.

It’ll always be “the next piece” and the next one and the next, etc. The healing is never done, because you work through the past time and time again. Rehashing the pain. Opening the scab over and over. Observing it from a new angle, you identify as wounded, traumatized, broken. Sure, you resolve pieces here and there, but one day someone says something or does something in a certain manner and you become highly triggered. In severe cases, break down in tears and unable to move forward. Is that what you want for your life? And if you’re a mother, is that the example we want for our children? 

Errrgh! Hold the brakes. Now, I’m not saying breaking down in tears is bad. I’m not saying crying is in any way bad, nor am I saying it’s not okay to be sad, or angry, or frustrated. What I AM saying is that when you no longer identify as a wounded, traumatized, broken victim of your past, these past things stay in the past. The triggers are no longer all consuming. 

You want freedom? Stop identifying as the victim of _____. 

Start identifying as the badass woman and powerful bitch you ARE! Regardless and inconsequential of the past. 

This doesn’t mean that you weren’t a victim of [fill in the blank with your past trauma]. It means you don’t use that event as an identifier anymore. 

“You can’t think the way you’ve always thought, or you’ll continue to get what you’ve always got.” 

I had a mentor that said this multiple times. “Bro coach” or not, he was right.